the amazing adventures of jen14221

mickey mouse, bitches

I'm taking the boy to Orlando for a few days.  My pasty-white skin can't wait for the 80 degree weather.

See you later.

spreeeeeee

The new Buffalo Spree is out today, and that means that you all get to read my latest Blog Cabin piece on-line.  Enjoy.

stotw (stupid thing of the week)

So.  Last night my flight left Philadelphia ON TIME and got me home TEN MINUTES EARLY.  A Lenten miracle. 

On the way home, I stopped for gas at the Delta Sonic on Transit. 

And attempted to fill my gas tank with DIESEL gasoline.

I say 'attempted' because while the nozzle did not fit into the gas tank, I did perservere by shoving it in (even though my brain was firing warnings saying 'does not fit, does not fit) part of the way and getting in .79 gallons.  That's when I casually looked down at the nozzle, which read, in big green letters, DIESEL.

At that point I hmmmed, and thought, "maybe that's why the nozzle doesn't fit, hmmmm, and swore at myself (because I gave that up for Lent, again) and realized that all my Amazing Race viewing just has not helped me even one little bit.  Because the racers do this all the time and I always laugh at them and think that they are morons.

And well, I'm a moron too.

I just sort of blew off the .79 gallon of Diesel and topped off the tank with Unleaded and hoped for the best.  So far, so good.  My engine even seems to have a little pep.

current events

I'm flying on home today, and except for a few days next week, working at home in my 'office' (Panera Bread), I'm basically on vaction for the next two weeks.

I am hoping that Ralph Fiennes is on my flight today, US Air #54321 from Philly to Buffalo.  I would like to seduce him in the restroom.

And tonight I am totally shaving my head, because I think that being overweight and ghostly pale can only be complimented by a bald head.

friday kid photo

Hey there, it's been a long time since we've had a FKP posting....and it's gonna have to be a bit longer. My digital camera is all effed up.  How is it that I had one point-and-shoot camera for about 15 years and I've gone through three digitals since 2001?  I dunno.  Anyway, Will looked really cute today, especially when he wasn't acting like a punk-ass bitch.  You'll have to trust me.

I need to either 1) fix my camera or 2) buy a new one in the next 10 days or so because out of the blue and in a total spur-of-the moment instant, I booked two tickets to Disneyworld for February 28-March 3, and I'll need to take pictures.  Yes, isn't is totally awesome when you work for yourself and can do things like book last-minute vacations?  We're staying here, and I am unbearably excited.   You bitches are jealous, I know.

Anyway, my friend Lauren (who moved to India for 12-18 months) is in the US for a few weeks and she'll be in Disney with her kids, who Will loves, so I decided that we must go.  Especially since we'll probably never have another chance to see the Ratners, ever again.  Boo hoo.

v-day

Today in Philadelphia, we had

and I had to take a cab to work, 5 blocks away.

Then I had

for lunch, which was delicious but gave me cramps and

after awhile I felt better and went to the airport to fly home, but

really and completely

and I hate everyone.

extended

My contract here in Philly has been extended through July, which means:

• The opportunity to eat TGI Friday's room service has just increased by 33%.
• Purchasing a membership to the US Airways special/important-person club was not for naught.
• The likelihood of purchasing a new car for Peter has just gone up to 'very likely'.
• Ditto for remodeling the master bathroom.
• I won't be crying this summer, wondering if XYZ company will take me back (thank God).
• A sibling for Will?  Not so much.  This year at least.

weekend update

On Saturday, I had sushi on Elmwood with my very special own menage-a-trois - me, my husband, and our friend Michelle.  Then, I watched my husband drink 4 beers and 3 carbombs before I wrangled him into the car and drove his drunk ass home.  Jen - the voice of reason again!  What is this world coming to?

Today, I listened to my husband bitch about the size of his head and his bedspins last night, tolerated a three-hour nap that he needed to take, and made valentines and soup with Will.  Stayed in my pajamas all day.  Packed for Philly.  Watched TV.  Just the kind of day I love.

blister in the sun

Ooooh, boy.  Another product I will never buy, along with the GMC Envoy and Special K, is the new Wendy's gross sandwich saw on TV last night.  Yes, one of the Violent Femmes sold out to the home of the Frescata sandwich.  I wonder if they know they are selling a roast beef sandwich with onion-cheese sauce to a tune about masturbation?  Anyway.

Someone here in Philly chucked me under the bus today... la la la la...some things do not change even when you change your job...la la la....but it's okay.  I will prank call them later today and get back at them.

stylin'

Just one question: 

Who is Norm Thompson and why is he sending me e-mail messages about GAUCHOS?