So I changed the name of my blog, did you notice?
I worked out Tuesday night. 20 minutes on the treadmill. A slow start, but it's something, right?
I got up at 6am this morning, and did not press the snooze button. I've had a problem with sleeping in lately.
On my way to the office, I saw this dude getting filmed for Parking Wars on AMC. If you don't watch it, you should.
We're in the midst of a heatwave here in Philadelphia, which does not help my mood or my hair. There's plenty of a/c at work and in my hotel room, but the in-between is killer. I had sort of a bad lunch today, I was craving just something little and I got an Auntie Anne's pretzel with cheese and really ignored the fact that JEN, YOU CANNOT EAT BREAD, REMEMBER? and barfed it up into the toilet in the 30th Street Train Station's women's restroom. Add in the fact that I had had a few sips of Fruit Punch and it was not a pretty picture. And If you follow me on Twitter, you already know all about it.
So, news. It's weigh-in Tuesday and I am down another four pounds since last time, which was two weeks ago. Four pounds in two weeks is not a huge deal but it adds up, and it's a total of 23 pounds, or .62 pounds a day since my surgery on June 9th, 37 days ago. I did not start my gym routine last night as I had planned, Mondays are never good for me with the travelling and all that shit, but tonight is the night. Treadmill and Big Brother 10, here I come.
I had a Carnation Instant Breakfast/skim milk/protein powder shake for breakfast, a tall non-fat iced caramel macchiato, and the afore-mentioned pretzel/cheese disaster so far today. Tonight I will have another CIB shake and call it a day for the food.
And just because I'm ridiculous, here's a picture of my terrible hair. I swear, yesterday I loved it; today I hate it.
Sorry, I've been busy.
Wow, I got out of Philadelphia just in time today. It was 98 degrees when I left, and a nice, cool 87 in Buffalo when I landed. I had time to stop at the craft store to buy resin (crafty trays, bitches!) and at the grocery store before I picked up Will at school and went home. Where I was greeted by a cat who had thrown up several times today. Oh well. We chilled for a bit, played games (my son CHEATS at Memory) and I cleaned up cat puke. We ate dinner outside with the neighbors by the pool and had a grand old time. See? I am not always sour and sulky and selfish.
This is what I ate today:
Look for the Friday Saturday Kid Photo tomorrow.
Paul asked an exellent question the other day re: exercise. Here's the text:
You do not mention exercise much in your GBS updates. Perhaps you could enlighten your readers on 1) the importance of regular exercise as a part of the weight loss regimen; 2) your physician's take on it; 3) your efforts to follow your physician's advice.
I hope you're being more or less successful in this regard. I understand it's supposed to help greatly in reaching and maintaining overall weight targets.
He's right. Gastric bypass surgery, while allowing a person to lose enormous amounts of weight due to the reduced-stomach size and shortened intestine along with other gut hormonal changes, is not a magic ticket to skinny city. This is why you see people like Carnie Wilson and Al Roker have huge weight losses right after surgery, and then regain a good number of the pounds back. One reason is becasue you can actually trick your stomach into taking in more food that it can handle and needs. Right now, my stomach is able to hold about one ounce of food at a time. I like to eat small meals 4 or 5 times a day, some solids, some liquids, with a lot of water inbetween meals. You can certainly eat more often than that, and that's where people get into trouble. Snacking all day, every day will make you gain your weight right back. Also, it's important to look at what you're eating after GBS. If you eat alot of ice cream and drink things like milkshakes, of course you're going to be able to get more in than if you were to eat things like lean protein and balanced foods. Ice cream goes down easy and doesn't take up much room in that little stomach pouch. Chicken and beans and greens and protein bars actually fill you up and make you stop eating.
Now, Paul asked about the exercise part. Exercise is very important for a post gastric bypass patient, to keep muscle tone and all that shit. I used to get a lot of exercise when I was younger, and I have not been a fatty my whole life. I was sporty in high school, rowed on the crew team for a short while in college, and actually went running (with my totally awesome bright yellow Sony walkman plugged into my ears) all the time in college. I was a swimmer and a lifeguard every summer from the ages of 16 to 22. I started to get lazy (and fatter) after college graduation, working all day at a shit job and then eating crap food every night on my enormous $26,000/year salary. I joined a gym in my mid- to late-20's and lost a bunch of weight (along with some help from Phen-Fen, thankyouverymuch). After I met Peter and we got engaged, I basically stopped going to the gym and gained something like an eventual 75 pounds. Poor Peter.
Next Monday will mark my six-week post-op, and that is the day I am supposed to start my regular exercise regime. Since I had my surgery, I've been walking - a lot - and that's really it. Some days I feel I have not been taking in enough calories to support myself in walking from the office to my hotel room, let alone working out. I'm in Philadelphia 3 nights/week and I am dedicated to moving my ass in the hotel gym every one of those nights. While I'm home I probably won't do anything routine-wise, but will make a conscious effort to get off the couch and move.
How's that, Paul?
It's Tuesday, which is usually weigh-in day, but I don't think I have a scale nearby. You may have to wait with your bated breath until tonmorrow. I'm pretty sure I have not lost a lot, if anything in the past week, because I feel bloated and I've not been moving my ass very much. Also, yesterday I tried on some pants from a few years ago and they did not fit yet. The weekend in Boston was fun fun fun but I didn't really get too much exercise as I was 1)stuck on Amtrak for 6 hours on Friday and was 2)pretty wiped out on Saturday and was also 3)stuck in a car driving from Boston to Buffalo on Sunday. I've been feeling a little sorry for myself this week, since I've been reading accounts from other GBS patients who've reported they lost something like 40 pounds in the first 5-6 weeks. Then I realized that these people probably started off much heavier than me, and they had that much more to lose, so of course they are dropping weight like mad. So, even if I did not lose a single pound this week, that's still 22 pounds in 5 weeks which is pretty fucking good.
I met with my girlies:
That's me above. Why do I look pissed? Maybe because I can't eat or drink anything. Or maybe because my iPhone takes CRAP pictures.
I tried to get Will to eat:
And went on the Duck Tour:
I'm here in Boston, had a great time with my girlies last night, stayed out til 12:30 (gasp!) WTF I am sooo old. My tummy, she is not so happy with me this morning, but nibbled on some fabby food. I got tickets for the Duck Tour for later tonight; Peter and Will are meeting me in a few hours and I am excited to see my little one - it's been almost a week. Will update more with pictures and my new butchy haircut when I get back to the Buff.
xoxoxox
In which my son corrupts the young Fornasiero child.
So, today kind of sucks. I feel quite unwell and just a bit out of it. Normally I'd be all happy and shit that it's Thursday and I get to go home but I'm staying through tomorrow morning, and taking Amtrack to Boston where I am having a girlie weekend with some of my friends. We haven't all been together since July of 2005, and I am so looking forward to seeing them all. However, today blows.
I didn't have dinner last night - not even a Carnation Instant Breakfast protein shake - because I kind of overdid it during the day, and I was just too exhasted leave my hotel room and find dinner, so I skipped it. Then I slept 10 hours. Then, this morning I woke up all headachey and weak and dehydrated and I had problems keeping my balance in the shower. I was too lame to be able to raise my arms up high enough to wash my hair, so I am sporting dirty-hair-in-a-clip today. Which is Just Gorgeous.
So today, consider me useless. But happy that I'm seeing my lovelies tomorrow!
Note to self: EAT something at night. Even if it's 1/2 of a ThinkThin Protein Bar (20 grams of protein in 240 calories. Crunchy peanut butter flavour!).
No cheap beer for me this year.
No hookups in the Eagle House's broom closet with Greg Fornasiero this year.
No standing around in 95 degree heat in the middle of Williamsville this year.
Boo hoo.
I weighed myself this morning and I am down 22 pounds total in 29 days. That's .75 pounds a day GONE FOREVER. It means that my BMI has dropped about 4 points since my surgery. Right now, weighing what I weigh and having the BMI I now have, I would most likely not be approved for surgery. I am wearing a top today that was purchased from the normal-sized section of the store. My pants are loose. I have not had foot pain or back pain in weeks. I'm still pretty effing tired but I'm walking around a lot and it's like hell here in Philadelphia, 95 degrees and HUMID. I still need about 10 hours of sleep a day to be able to function but I'm sure this will not last forever.
I now weigh about what I weighed in 2004, when we first moved from Boston to Western New York.
In three to four weeks, I'll probably weigh what I did when I was married. Which was still fat, but I'm taking baby steps here you know.
FOOD JOURNAL FOR TODAY
That's about 1200 calories with about 70 grams of protein.
So, Will has been pooping in his pants for the last few weeks. Not huge poops, just little bits. It's been annoying for us, and I'm sure pretty unpleasant for him, especially when he sees the look on my/Peter's face when we go to help him in the bathroom and see what's in his boxers. I'm willing to give my four year-old a pass on occasional accidents or skid marks, but this has been crazy, like five-times-a-day-insanity on some days. I've been giving him his Benefiber, and while I think Peter might forget some nights while I'm in Philadelphia, it was really stumping me as to why this was happening. I thought that maybe he was acting out since he knows he is going to a new school in the fall - we've been talking about it for awhile now, and some of his little friends at school have already left (their parents are teachers and they keep the kids home in the summer). I felt bad for the kid. I also know it's because he eats three different foods and none of them are things that help you poo.
Today, Peter took him to see his Pediatrician and we found out that Will is severly constipated and has compacted poop and is basically full of shit, and I'm full of guilt because I'm not home to help him and give him a big enema. I wish I was home so I could hug him and apologize for scolding him for the accidents because I know it's not his fault.
Being a mom is so glamourous. Being a traveling consultant is also glamourous. Don't you wish you were me?
And here' my Gastic Bypass update: I'm 28 days post-op as of today. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow. I'm losing about 2-3 pounds a week right now. I'm a little surprised that I'm not losing more rapidly but I think it's because I started back on solids so quickly, and since I went back to work so quickly, I needed to eat a bit more to keep my energy up. I think that while losing more slowly is somewhat of a bummer, it will also reduce the amount of flabby hanginmg skin I'll have in a year, and my lean muscle mass can be saved. In other news, the pants I'm wearing today are enormous. I bought a few tops at Kohl's and Target in the regular-sized section this weekend. They are XL, but they are not from the fat-girl section. I'll need a new sized bra soon. And, I'm still having at least one Carnation Instant Breakfast/Protein powder shake a day.
What I ate today:
I'm short an additonal Carnation Instant Breakfast but I think I'm done for the day. It's really not that much fod but I'm really full.
Buffalo gets a very short mention in this month's USAir magazine.
I'm not really sure if I'll ever be able to have wings again, but that picture made my stomach growl like nobody's business.
I weighed myself yesterday. I am now down 18 pounds. In 22 days. I should have done this a while ago. Also, the towels in my hotel room can (almost) go all the way around my body. People at work are commenting on my thin(ner) face. I feel terrific.
Nothing too exciting, sorry. The other night I did have 1/2 of a hot dog with the skin peeled off. It's just not the same without a bun (which is bread, and bread I cannot eat). I'm getting sick of the Carnation Instant Breakfast-Protein Powder meal, but it's the only way I can consistently get 30 grams of protein in me. Times that by two and I'm just about there for the day (I'm supposed to have between 70 and 80 grams of protein for the day, to prevent muscle and hair loss). It's not easy; you try consuming 80 grams of protein in your 800 calories per day. I think the best meal I could have would just be a big chunk of chicken with a Carnation Instant Breakfast to wash it down. It's just too bad that chicken suddenly does not taste very good, and I cannot eat AND drink at the same time. My stupid new stomach will not allow it. I did find these proscuitto/chicken/cheese tortelloni that had 15 grams of protein in a 3/4 cup serving, so I this weekend I cooked them up with a little melted butter and parmesan cheese. In the past I would have inhaled something like that but I really cannot eat even 1/2 cup of anything these days, let alone 3/4 cup. So sad, and how boring for you to have to read my drivel. Who would have thought that I would have to force myself to eat anything, at least when I was not going through a bad breakup with a jerky boyfriend, circa 1989 or '90. Today I am in Philadelphia (City of Death from Heat Stroke, Jesus it's hot here) and found these little 'Portions' at Au Bon Pain that are new Jen14221-sized, just a few ounces of food, and some are packed with protein. I think they are being marketed towards dieters, not gastric bypass patients, but I will take what I can get. They're fucking expensive but I don't really have a choice and I guess I'll save money by having ANOTHER Carnation Instant Breakfast for dinner tonight. I am seriously thinking of creating a macro for Carnation Instant Breakfast because I am tired of typing Carnation Instant Breakfast over and over. In other news, I have not weighed myself in some time (I haven't owned a scale since I hit the 150's which was looooong ago) but I am wearing a pair of pants that have not fit me in at least two years. Applause.
* Indicates a very upset stomach. I had to cancel a meeting due to the dumplings. I could not leave my hotel room with any confidence.
In other news, it's Peter's 42nd birthday today. Ice cream cake and steak and blowjobs!
Unfortunatley I won't be having any steak. Or cake.
Doesn't the yard look nice? We are officially lazy, suburban homeowners. We paid people to come and weed and mulch our gardens. I won't tell you how much it cost because it's obscene, but the final bill was several hundred dollars more than the estimate. It's a good thing I'm off food.
And fuck me, there has not been very much progress on the patio. But there are a few thousand dollars worth of rocks in the driveway.
I definately came back to work at least a week too early. But you know, when you are self-employed and you don't work for two weeks in June, your paycheck is going to be half-sized. I think I was more worried about the money I was losing than making sure I had enough time to recover at home. It's kind of a pain in the ass to mix Carnation Instant Breakfast in your hotel room. Oh well, I'm here and I'm alive and I will hopefully have enough cash at the end of the month to pay for $2000 worth of rocks. For the patio. Which is still just a giant hole in the backyard, I am told.
I've been eating pretty well. Smoothies and the afore-mentioned Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed, messily, in my hotel room. Yesterday I had the teensiest helping (maybe 1/4 cup) mac and cheese for lunch. Last night I met my best Philadelphia friend for dinner and had wonton soup and some chicken panang curry. I was full after the soup but just had to have a scoop of rice and chicken in delicious coconut/peanut sauce. It was the fatty in me showing her true colors. I have always done this, and hve never been able to understand people who just stop eating even if they are not full. It's a sickness, probably learned in high school or college. I was never able to pass up food, even if I was not hungry. Sick sick sick. I'm learning slowly though. Today for lunch I was full after just a small cup of chicken noodle soup and I stopped.
What the hell was I thinking when I decided to take only two weeks off from work to recover from my surgery? I am going back tomorrow morning (first class baby) and staying through Thursday night. WTF. I am sooo tired today, and I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I did a lot yesterday. Not a lot for a normal person, but a lot for someone living on Carnation Instant Breakfasts. I did have a crabcake last night at the Wilson Boat House, and let me tell you - what a waste of stomach space. It was really just adequate. It was strange drinking only water, no wine at all, but I don't even miss it. Anyway, I overdid it yesterday and I am going to rest up today. I need to do some laundry, pack and make a run to the grocery store but other than that I am going to be a slug.
Fun fact: I cannot eat bread. Even if I chew it 50 times. It gets stuck and causes great pain and discomfort. Then I have to either 1) jump up and down to get it to move down my gullet or 2) stick my finger down my throat to barf it up.
Charming, no?
My husband has decided to build a patio in our backyard. I woke to the sound of a bobcat this morning.
I'm sure our neighbors just love us.
I got this at the surgeon's office yesterday:
My iPhone takes crap closeup pictures and you probably can't read the text, but this is basically a card that I can flash at restaurants to allow me to order off the kid's menu. Hilarious.
For lunch today I had a Lean Cuisine Sesame Chicken meal - it's 300 calories and 15 grams of protein. I know I just fast-forwarded a bit but I did take a full 45 minutes to eat only 3/4 of the meal and I feel great. I really needed to chew something. Did you know that I have to take dime sized bites of all my food and chew chew chew like 20 times until the food is basically mush? It's true. This will be something I need to learn to do consistenly - I am so used to gulping down my food.
And non-surgery related news: my boy graduates from Pre-K tonight.
I don't know what that face is all about but he is stylin'.
This is basically what I can eat:
Technically, the goldfish crackers in my tomato soup are not approved on the liquid diet, but I let them soak and get all soft untl they are no longer considered a solid.
That soup is fucking delicious. All 1/4 cup of it I can eat at a time.
I went for my post-op appointment today. I AM DOWN 12 POUNDS IN NINE DAYS. Yowza.
I'm going back to work next Monday, I have lots to do and all, and I hope things go well. I am a little afraid of being more than just a short distance from the bathroom, and eating in Philadephia may be a challenge at first. I'm on the full-liquid diet for a few more days, then it's onto the soft-food diet (applesauce, mashed potatos, eggs) until I'm on regular foods (sometime late in June). I do not plan on taking a blender to the Embassy Suites with me so I may be living off Au Bain Pain soup and Carnation Instant Breakfast.
Oh, by the way. I fear I may now be lactose intolerant. See sentence above re: being far away from the bathroom.
I have a post-op appointment in the morning. My sweet neighbor is afraid of me driving so she's taking me. I love my neighbors.
Tomorrow they will weigh me and I am interested to see what I'm at. Here's a few pictures of Before and After (so far)
Yeah, that's me in like February or March. Fat.
Me in the hospital. So sexy.
And me today. I only have one chin!
I hope you were not hoping for those full-body snapshots because I'm not into that. I know I'm fat and soon I will be thin. So there.
Hey, did you know that if you don't eat anything except Jell-O and Popsicles for a week, you will have really very little energy and need a big rest after you do anything like climb stairs or go to the bathroom?
It's true. I think I have actually moved past the pain in my stomach and now I'm just suffering from general weakness. I can estimate that I've consumed less than 1000 calories in a week, and I don't own a scale but I'm sure I'm down at least a few pounds.
Last night I moved onto stage 2 of the liquid diet. This means full-liquids instead of of the clear liquids (Popsicles, water, Jell-O) I've been on since the day after my surgery. Full liquids means milk products and yogurt and pudding and smoothies. My smoothie did not agree with me last night so I stuck with the clear liquids until today.
When I woke up STARVING.
Now, if you've ever met me in real life you might have said I was a 'big girl'. I am tall after all, and I'm not one to skip many meals. I consider myself overweight (I've never used the 'obese' term on myself because it sounds so terrible but according to the charts in the doctor's office - I'm there.
STARVING to me used to mean I would eat until I was no longer hungry. And you know it can take a while for the food to move from your stomach to your brain to say 'I'm full". This morning, I was hungry for the first time in a week, but knew better to go back to that old habit. I could vomit, faint, rip my new stomach, poop my pants, or all of the above.
So I ate a snack-pack of pudding s-l-o-w-l-y and waited.
This is my new life.
dI'm still having a lot of pain in my tummy region, and my wounds are sore. I sweat at night so my band-aids and steri-strips seem to be peeling off way early. I have to change the dressing on my j-tube stab wound every day post-shower, and I am grossing myself out looking and seeing all the bruising and slit marks on my stomach.
I am now taking 4 special daily multi-vitamins that are chewable and expensive. They taste like a combo of chalk and ass. And berry.
I am kind of scared (but excited too) to move on to the next stage of my diet - full liquids. This will include pudding, smoothies, yogurt and other milk products. Scared because I now have diarrhea that won't quit (and this is just from Jello).
I have only taken two doses of LoriTab today. I hope to wean myself off it by early next week.
Lots of love.
So let me tell you the story of how I came to be here, in my living room, watching Maury Povitch, with a hundred stab wounds in my tummy. I never meant this to be The Gastric Bypass Blog, so you'll have to bear with me as I share what's going on now. Eventually things will be back to normal, and I'll be hating on US Air again.
On Monday, I got up at 4:30am and drove to my mom and dad's house. Since they moved my surgery up, Peter couldn't take me, so my dad drove me in. I checked in at the hospital and they had me give a urine sample and change and then they took me away. At 7:30am, they put in an IV and then that's the last thing I knew for a while.
At 2:30 I woke up crying that my back hurt and I remember being laughed at by the aide or orderly because my stomach was supposed to hurt, blah blah. They urged me to use the pain medication pump and I would feel better, but the pain pump didn't work. So they ripped out the IV and put in back in with a giant popsicle stick to hold it in place. Ahhh, sweet pain medication relief.
Peter was in my room waiting for me when they wheeled me in but I don't remember much. I know he set out my toothbrush and toothpaste (and I never even used them until Wednesday, ewww, gross). And that's what I remember about Monday.
On Tuesday I know there were other patients walking the halls and chatting and I was thinking WHAT THE HELL because my pain was so much worse on Tuesday than on the first day. I was supposed to be walking the halls too but it was all I could do to walk to the bathroom and back without dying. On Tuesday I ate a blue popsicle which did not leak through the little tube attached to one of my stab wounds, and so they started bringing me jello. Oh jello, I forgot how I loved you. On Tuesday night my IV became filled with blood and so they needed to take out the popsicle stick jerry-rigged one and put in a new one and I was so dehydrated and my veins are crap and it was 11:00pm, that it took 4 different personnel and six different attempts to get it in. by 3:00am. What the Fuck. Then they asked me if I would be ready to go home on Wednesday and I cried, cried, cried for an hour and started to panic and got some nice meds to calm me down.
Wednesday I felt better, started to walk the halls, pass gas, all that stuff you are supposed to do. Fun times. I watched a little TV and read a little but slept as much as possible in between drinking apple juice in little sips and eating red jello and eating beef consomme (ewww). I brushed my teeth finally.
Yesterday I TOOK A SHOWER and finally came home at 4pm. If I was more coordinated I would take a picture of my belly and all the stab wounds and post it for you. You should probably be pleased I will not do this.
Thanks to everyone who has been so nice. My mom has been a star inheloing out with Will; also my neighbor Karen. Everyone who sent well-wishes and tweets - thank you! I got some flowers and cards and phone calls and I appreciate everything so very much.
I'm now on Stage 1 Clear-Liquid Diet - water, juice, jello, Crystal Light, broth - until Sunday. Right now all I can bear is water (one ounce every 15 minutes) and jello.
Okay, I am exhausted.
Well this is it. I've just had my Milk of Magnesia and I'm going to bed. I won't be blogging for a few days (the hospital has no wi-fi, what the hell) but you can check Twitter updates (look to your right) to see if I'm alive and what flavour jello I am having.
Ta ta.
I had lobster rolls and corn on the cob (yes, with a little butter) for dinner tonight. I think that's kind of my last meal. Tomorrow I need to eat things like smoothies and soup and take Milk of Magnesia to ensure a good poop before surgery Monoday morning.
Speaking of which, my surgery time was changed from 11:30am to 7:30am which kind of fucks things up for me, since I was planning on taking Will to school with Peter before I went to the hospital. Now I need to report at 6am, daycare doesn't even open until 6:30, and it looks like I might be driving myself to the hospital. So sad. I hope no one steals my iPhone and three thousand library books while I am under anesthesia.
And speaking of books, my sissy sent me two books via Amazon for my birthday - recipes for living after Weight Loss Surgery. They are great, but I just have to tell you that someone at Amazon.com is messing with me becasue at the bottom of the box, under the gift message and inserts, was a coupon for a free meal at McDonald's. What. The. Fuck. Yes, please give me a crispy chicken sandwich, large fries and full-sugar Coke and watch me poop my pants. Fun times.
I have a sunburn. Took the boy swimming today and sat by the pool for several hours and had not a single cocktail.
I saw Sex & City move tonight with my neighbor ladies and someone brought A BABY TO THE MOVIE. Again, I say - What. The. Fuck.
